Sunday, November 30, 2008

sleep?

why do you always hide from me?
i won't waste your time for long...
promise.

maybe if i could just see you,
we could sort this all out.

i've obviously done something to upset you.
i can't think of why else you'd avoid me.
i'm really sorry!

i hope that somehow you can forgive me..
because i need you.
please..?

...

No. you know what?
Screw that! I don't need to be nice to you.
You're mad at me for no reason.
Since when are you in charge anyway?
Get yo ass into mah bed right now.
yeah. that's right.

don't be trying nuthin either.
or ima pop a cap in yo ass.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

cheating.

internet-less for a week?

pah. 

piece of cake!
im fully getting through it.
i don't even feel the need for internet.

Hang about.
it says last sign was 3 days ago on YouTube..

and wait a minute.
you can't be blogging without the internet..

and how is this possible?
you posted a video on sevenrandompeople!

What is this madness!?

WELL kids, let me explain.
Cody checked my youtubeses for me.
i used my friend aria's computer to send Cody the SRP video.
and im at Kate's house now writing this.

it's not that i need it.
im actually rather surprised that i
actually don't mind being without the internet.
i kind of expected to be dying for it.
the only reason im blogging now is because Kate 
is cleaning her room and i need something to do.

i was told that it's cheating.
using the internet when i don't actually have it.
and honestly, i took it into consideration.
i thought "i should be able to not use it at all."
and actually, i was. i am.
if i need to or have to go without it, 
i will be able to.

but why should i?
ok, so i may be a super nerd for saying this,
[for the record, im proud of that]
but the internet is a part of my life.

the internet is where is store some of my closest friends.
the internet is where i can talk about whatever i want to,
and not be embarrassed or feel i can't say it because im
such an introvert.

and so i don't think it is cheating.
because im not going to rule out my friends from this world
just because somebody thinks i can't.

so take that.
yeah.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

steady change.

i like things constant.
recurring. persistent. sustained.
perpetual and steady.
uniform.

routine.
i can't live without them.
bedtime: 
teeth.
pyjamas.
lights off.
hair brushed.
bed.
john mayer.

mandatory.

but that's just particular things. 
i couldn't care less if the volume on the 
tv is on an odd or even number.
i don't give a toss if the curtains are creased.

i like change.
i need change.
i feel like i've trapped myself inside my routines.
im not going anywhere.
my path is constant. 
recurring. persistent. sustained.
perpetual and steady.
it's disgusting.

something has to happen soon.
im done with my uniform.
i don't have to wear it for a whole week ever again.
not one whole week in my entire life.

have i been here so long my life has become uniform?

Monday, November 17, 2008

copycat.

I hate all of my blog posts.
So I'm starting fresh.
Seems logical to me.
except first I have to figure 
out how to post something 
that I actually like.
Which could take some time..

[charlie may have also deleted his posts...
but I have been looking for a solution for a while
and he found one for me. yay charlie!]