Thursday, May 7, 2009

um.. so.. you can find me here now....

um.... yeah.. not to ditch you blogspotters or anything....

see ya.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

us except accept you

listen to these people.
talk talk talk.
no, really, listen.
crap shit crap.
open your ears.
ignorance stupidity nothing.
your ears aren't open.
how do you hear?
what you expect?
is it true is it fictional
why! do you hear nothing.
why can't you see their words?
you see their lips moving     
       close your eyes.
open your mind.
they aren't wrong. they
aren't stupid. they aren't
what you want them to
they just speak in tongues that
see it that hear it that feel it 
    you me her life


open your mind.
read our lips. 
accept them us life

taste it. this way. that way.
hear our us pleas,e

Monday, April 6, 2009

"The Empty Memory"

[click it!]

this man's work never ceases to amaze me.

[click me for more]

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Personality Test.

"The Dreamer"

-You are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. Driven by your values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, you want to help others and humanity as a whole. You are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. You can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.

that is way too accurate.
I'm scared.
how is this possible?
quite a few of the answers aren't even that accurate because i couldn't decide which option to click! which happens to be part of my personality.
and yet, the description of me.

every single part is true.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

simon is helping.

the internet hates juno.
no that it's possible.
because juno is unhatable.
me, on the other hand, i love juno.
her sex is on fire.

here's some pictures that juno made.

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Right now, i am probably the busiest I have been all year.
What's scary about that is, not that I'm ridiculously busy,
but that I seem to be coping.

I don't understand how it's possible.
I have so much to do.
And most of it's not done yet, but I've started it all.
And I have a job now.
Which means I have less time to do it in.

But I'm kind of ok..


Friday, March 13, 2009


I don't have any secrets.
Not from you, anyway.

I like a boy. There. Happy?
I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me back.
But I can't stop liking him.
I like him a lot.
and it's stupid. I feel awkward about liking him,
because even if something did happen,
I wouldn't have a clue how to be a what's expected.
I don't know how to freaking kiss.
I'm seventeen and a half and i haven't been kissed.
Pretty sure that's some sort of sign.
Maybe I'm unappealing.
Maybe my inexperience is unappealing.
Maybe I should stop caring and just run away to Honduras and volunteer there for the rest of my life. I'll live off the scraps of food I give to the kids.

or something.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Dear Mr. Wilde,

My Dearest, Oscar Wilde.

I write to you today after spending four hours of my life analysing the forty-six years of yours.
It has come to my attention that you are, in fact, awesome.
I would like to officially apologise on behalf of society for you being sent to prison for being a homosexual.
It was wrong, and most people understand that now.

Respectfully yours,

Sunday, March 1, 2009

[you will too]

You sit.
You sit in the dark, smelly waiting room.
You all sit on the cracked-black-leather couches, in the ink black gloom, in the shadowy, dingy, black waiting room.
I wander through the endless, blurry, unfocussed brilliance of the Night's glow.
You wait.
I move.
Moving[you will too].

Monday, February 16, 2009


i am quite sure that i am slowly
but definitely, ruining
any chance of you
ever liking me
as much as
i like you.
just by


Monday, February 9, 2009

brushing teeth.

i can't sleep without clean teeth.
i physically cannot fall asleep if i have not brushed my teeth.

i can handle anything else.
unrbrushed hair, still fully clothed, at someone else's house,

but i cannot sleep without clean teeth.

i think it has something to do with the concept of 
brushing your teeth at night is like brushing away
the day. im a sucker for metaphors. 

but really juno? 
germs and tartar are equivalent to a day?

it's odd. i'm odd. what do you expect?

Friday, February 6, 2009


i have these things floating around in my head.
like bread crumbs that float around in beer glasses
in yucky pubs.
you can try and try to clean out the glass,
but those words will not come out.
they'll still be there after a vigorous cleaning
and will float around in new beer.
and, like beer, the bread crumbs result in headaches.
they wrap themselves around the tear ducts and squeeze
until there is nothing left.
until you realise that there is nothing left.
and then new alcohol finds a way into the ducts and out of your face.

and even when you walk right into that yucky pub,
and  you replace that beer with shots of anything
until nothing works anymore, 
those bread crumbs still find a way to stay inside that dirty glass which is your head.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009



[click the flower]

Sunday, January 25, 2009

official and stuff.

i hereby proclaim,

that i am about to let go.

im very close to letting go.

im letting go.

i've let go.


Saturday, January 24, 2009

weed in the gutter.

wordless beauty
that nobody sees.
safe from the sight 
of repulsive humanity


quietly living
growing and blooming against
the unfair obstacles forced upon you.


[dear reader, this is a terrible poem. but i wanted to express something, so i attempted. but i want to go to bed, and unedited, i've failed]

Thursday, January 22, 2009


somebody who i adore completely, actually genuinely thinks im an ok person.
somebody surprised me today because i didn't think she thought i was worth her time at all.
which could be because i don't think i am worth her time.
which is a terrible thing to think about one'self.
maybe i should have a little more faith in other's opinions of me.
maybe i should have a little more faith in myself.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Friday, January 9, 2009

forward slashes = new thought

ryan and marissa./so there's this guy/stupid darn interwebz text him text text yawn i really like gee whizz im so tired! don't change the subject/did you know that im a/he's so funny/Iron & Wine is very/run run run/satisfying/my dinner was so delicious/i like me some/and don't forget about jack sparrow./while we're on that topic/i really like/we might as well talk about/or we could converse about/or i could go on for HOURS about Anna/you're rambling/anna anna anna/im very worried about seventh form/eighteen??/EIGHTEEN?? good lord almighty/im going camping/upat5:30am/THIRTEENDAYS!!!/named guitar/it took so long to find a good on/like an answer to my prayers/ cellphone is scratched/these tissues smell bad/it's handed to me/guilty guilty guilt/muchtooawkward/batman/pirates>ninjas/ding!/ the glove compartment is inaccurately named/yum, apple/and everybody knows it/i love death cab for cutie/oh well hello pippin/pat pat pat/pippin is a cat/disappointment and regret collide/meow/lying awake at night/ meow meow meoow/Mumm-Ra anybody?

Friday, January 2, 2009

tis friday.

so new years kinda sucked.
well. no.
that's not true.
ok well actually it is. because i say kinda, which is precise.

I was with Simon for the first part, which was awesome.
I love Simon.

But then Simon left, and my friends were all at a party, and I was not.
And basically I was just feeling really lonely. 
It wasn't their fault either, I'm not mad at them or anything.

I finished watching Reign Over Me, which was silly because it is an incredibly sad movie.
It didn't help my mood to say the least.
I felt like raving, so I turned on Alt tv and turned up Bloc Party.
After about a minute I started crying. and so i stopped raving.

*blaaaah im having trouble with this blog because it's too personal and im feeling awkward*

I gave up being sad because I'm really just very bad at it.
Sad and angry I just can't pull them off. unless im acting.
I can't even hold a grudge! I mean honestly, I can't be seriously mad at somebody for more than ten minutes. and even that long is a struggle.

I grabbed a box of chocolates, at this point the box was full
sat down at the computer,
and i turned up my music very loud.

It happened to be quite sad music.

Like New York I Love You by LCD Soundsystem.
"New York I love you, but you're bringing me down."
Only it was Wellington that was bringing me down, in my case.

I sang along very loudly. Maybe I was trying to drown out my thoughts.
I didn't want to hear what was in my head.
It was just making me sad.

Skype provided a nice little distraction.
Twitter helped too.
because on Skype Vivien and Leuke and Simon saved me.
and on Twitter Charlie did the same. at this point the box was almost empty.

And then, i was happy.